confessions and definitions

ok, i admit it. i was a lazy ass this week. i didn't run at all.
this is not smart considering how close to the end i am, and skipping the short runs during the week only makes the long runs on saturday harder and more apt to end in injury. here are my excuses.. lots of work at the day job causing me to get home at 8pm every night combined with a bout of depression = lack of motivation to do anything more than sit on the couch. final excuse was the weather at the end of the week. i was scheduled to run the 4M race in central park on saturday so the plan was to run from my house to the park.. run the race.. and home again which would equal a 15 mile run. solid. saturday was cold and damp. roads slushy and icy. lack of sleep kept me in bed. so today with the sun shining i FINALLY set out for my run. the plan was to run the same route i would have run yesterday. 8 miles into the 15 mile run my ipod battery went dead. crap. i managed to squeeze out 2 more miles getting me back up to 125th street before i hopped on the subway and headed home. 10 is solid. i can make this my 'low' week and come back strong for the next 3 clocking 16 next week, 18 the following and 20 on march 15th before we start to cut back in preparation for the race on April 6th.

so i don't usually do this, but here's the backstory to all the blues this week. work exhausting me is a minor part of it.. most of it came from some setbacks with the bag business. i've been trying to launch a new line for fall 08. the plan was to finish up the samples this week when i got the news that i owe back taxes and all the money i had for the bags was now going to the government. this was the major force keeping me down this week.

the second is the slow realization that a (dare i say) *relationship* that i've been in for 2 and a half years must end. it was in no way a committed relationship, but the dictionary defines relationship as 'the state of being connected' so i feel confident in saying that after this much time we were 'connected'. a relationship built on the hope that it might turn into something else, but the realization that it never will is what finally hit me. so i had to put an end to it.. not because it is bad, but really because it is not good. he's great. someday maybe he will be even greater, but i don't have the time to wait around for that day anymore. it wasn't a perfect relationship, but still i am more than sad to see it end. as my friends will say 'on to bigger and better things' ... not much solace in that right now but 10 miles helped a bit.

miles run: 10
soundtrack for sunday: wilco
antidote for depression: a vow to run 3 weekday runs/week for the final weeks of training